"Not all those who wander are lost." - J.R.R. Tolkien
What holds us grounded to the places that we choose to stay? I've never felt a sense of desire or need to remain in the same place all my life. Every new environment excites and consumes me; it gives me the drive I otherwise don't have, to move and try something different. Though, for reasons of responsibility and "mature" life choices, I have been stuck; grounded to a place I've wanted to escape for years. I often wish that I could be more like some of my friends, who need not worry about their impulsive and bold behaviour. They willingly do as they please, effortlessly travelling between destinations on a whim; trying everything original and compelling.
"Where do you see yourself in 5 years," is a question that I am asked at nearly, if not, every interview and I just can never muster an answer. Truth be told, I don't know where I see myself in a week, let alone a matter of years. All I can suggest is that wherever that may be, I want it to be a new home entirely. One that brings me fresh encounters, and a drive to continue writing and creating. I'm not asking for the world in successes or even the richest of lives, I'm asking for one in which I feel satisfied in my exploration of the world. I want to communicate and learn new cultures and lifestyles.
I am trying to stay patient and not scream: I need change and I need it now! I just wish the idea of security needn't keep me as immobile as it does. If I could just afford to leave, if I could just get out, that's all I really want right now. I figure that there is so much to see and not enough of a lifetime to take it all in: climb the Rocky peaks of north-western Canada; become a Parisienne sipping coffee and strolling through French boulevards; learn to surf in Australia; admire art and fashion in the UK; midnight adventures in New York City.
I find myself half-hazardly attending job interviews that would involve me up-routing and leaving all that I know behind in a week's time. It's not that I don't love this city, but it's that I've been here for so long I can't imagine what more I could take away from my life here. All this time something seems to have been missing and it only ever disappears when I'm in a new place, no matter how long that may be - whether days or months. As difficult as it is to act on my dreams and aspirations, I think your life is as great as you make; even if that means taking risks and straying from the easy way out.
Without making this post much more of a rant, I'll leave you with a quote that has been whirling around in my mind for days:
"The best day of your life
is the one on which you decide
your life is your own."
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