I took photos above of my campus four years ago in my first year.
I'm always writing about life and sharing creative inklings, but I figured as it has been a few years since I began this personal photo journal I would share a bit more about me. Take this as a reintroduction.
As of two months ago I have graduated university with a degree in English and media studies. It's been such a whirlwind experience and is actually rather frightening knowing how quickly 4 years have passed. It puts life in to such a different perspective than when I began my undergraduate education.
I remember feeling excited, nervous and just anticipating all that the next years had in store. I have learnt so much in the dually quick and long time that these years have brought. Turns out university was nothing at all that I thought it'd be and yet it was everything and more. I can't fully explain the occurrences or emotional vortex that is my life but I can share what I now know VS what I originally believed.
1. Everything goes wrong and it hurts but no matter how painful it may seem at the time, it really does get better.
We've all been through the pain and I genuinely sympathize because I know how it hurts. I've lost countless friends that I couldn't imagine not speaking to on a daily basis and then made knew ones. I've felt betrayed and empty, and then woke up one day realizing I didn't care anymore. I've been in love and left broken hearted to wallow in pity, and then was enamoured by another. Though the sad truth of it all is that no matter how much you have lost or feel you can't live without, everyone becomes replaceable and all love fades and withers. This is not me being cynical, I love to love and I still have faith in many of those who actively display that they are worth my trust. I just think that everyone goes through various stages of difficulty and while it may not always be forgotten it does stop creeping through your thoughts as a daily reminder. Some of these issues will pass in a matter of days, others will take time but no matter how tragic your situation and how desperately you may feel that this person who has left your life could have been the ONE, I am only suggesting that one day you might not feel quite the same and will perhaps even question your once strong emotions towards that individual. Most importantly you will smile again, moments will be beautiful again and all that once haunted you will have been something like a distant nightmare.
2. The stress of studying and procrastination are not the worst things in life.
If not already obvious, I am often a bit dramatic. When I used to procrastinate my studies I would stress so much on the final few days I had to complete some of these assignments. I would pull all nighters followed by breakdowns and the following day would question my life choices. These were not my finest moments, but it was hard to stop the pattern. I loved socializing and going out, and the concept of giving any of it up to work for hours at a time on every given evening (my school was insane with workload) was just out of the question. So for the most part when my assignments and exams were only a week away I would fall back into my stress-induced-sleepless-coffeeholic-lifestyle. At the time, it felt like life could not have been any more difficult when it came to the stress of these projects. However, now with school over I miss the simplicity of my responsibilities only being as tough as the workload expected of me. I always handed everything in on time and would present good work in the end but it's the fact that I never fully appreciated how easy it all really was. All that was expected of me was to deliver a good essay or research paper. Yes, it was never easy but it was certainly easier than all these real life expectations that I have yet to figure out. All I really want you to take away from this is that you should probably relax and stop stressing out so much during school, then take it all in and start ENJOYING your experiences because before you know it your time at school will be over and stepping outside of the structure of a classroom is a lot harder than anything I was prepared for.
3. TAKE RISKS: get involved and stay creative.
Just because you may not be an art major doesn't mean you shouldn't be creative. If I took anything away from university it was that it's important to get involved in the school's events, meet as many people as you possibly can and stay active in whatever it is that you're passionate about. I absolutely love photography, writing and fashion. In my first year a friend recommended I try out for a country-wide photography competition. I never thought much of it but I decided to apply. Next thing I knew I got a phone call to find out I was one of three winners to get my photography and article published in a contemporary art exhibit. It taught me to take risks and try things out even if you don't succeed because it led to further opportunities; having my photography published in an editorial magazine which I later worked for. Furthermore, I met tons of friends who were science or math majors and took minors in visual arts. They would create the most beautiful art installations and paintings. This also inspired me to take sewing and fashion design classes on weekends outside of school because I thought why not? At least now I can design an outfit if I so please. Just goes to show that what you take in university or what career you pursue should not put an end to the creative musings that you passionately wish to explore, because you never know what life has in store.
4. Step outside of your comfort zone.
Just basing this off the last point. I believe that it is vital to step outside of your comfort zone, because if we all lived comfortably we wouldn't experience even half of what our lives could be. Erica Jong has this one quote that goes:
And the trouble is, if you don't risk anything, you risk more.
This is one of my absolute favourite sayings, so much so that I have actually written it on the chalkboard in my room so that I can read it whenever I'm feeling uninspired or hopeless. I've seen friends of mine who live their lives carefully and in fear of taking any risks. I've also heard these friends complain and get upset that everyone else seems to truly be living life in comparison to them. Then I've watched these friends take steps to achieve and surpass that which they have always feared trying. Now I know how happy these people are experiencing some of their first loves, relationships, experiences abroad and so on. It doesn't matter how long it takes you because the time will pass anyway, all that matters is that you at least try to live the life you want to live rather than the life that you're expected to have.
5. Happiness is not given to you, it is something you work for.
It's not always easy waking up and realizing that you may not be altogether content with your life. You may hate your job, be upset with your friends, feel hopeless with life decisions and routines. Hate that diet your on? Don't see a difference in your workout routine? Your career or education doesn't feel like it's progressing? Perhaps the relationship you wanted isn't working out the way you planned. Not every day is a happy day and sometimes you'll be upset for absolutely no reason, but happiness is not something that you can expect to just get handed over to you through a person, career or experience. You need to work hard for what you want and you might not always see an immediate difference, but then again you shouldn't be working out or eating right just to lose weight you should make it a lifestyle and a permanent change. Overtime you will see a difference, the same can be said for relationships of all kinds. Happiness is an aspect of your life that takes work, if you want to be content in your life you need to tackle all your projects and expectations with patience and positivity. Don't think too far ahead and stress. Have a plan for the future and what you want to accomplish but just follow the necessary daily steps to getting there and try to ENJOY yourself. What's the point in living everyday with a ridiculous schedule that you can't even think about without freaking out, you might as well follow that schedule with an appreciation for yourself. At least you are doing something to further improve and progress your life. I try to tell myself that I am one step closer to that goal than I was a day ago, and it often motivates me to stay strong and keep to what it is I'm working towards. Then of course, you can't just live on an agenda because all the randomness and aimlessness is a nice change that can add euphoria into your common routine, which in turn will benefit your wellbeing.
I hope you took something at least remotely useful from any of this advice. I wanted to share my experiences and I enjoyed writing about them.
This entry definitely took a different turn than I had originally intended, but that's okay. I was just going to talk about my love of traveling, museums, fashion, contemporary art, my years as a ballerina and the change my life took when I began yoga. Turns out that may all have to be for another day.
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