Mess of a Mind

Taken from Tumblr.

Blogosphere,

I to turn to you, as always, for an escape. I'm en route to a new phase in my life without an inkling of direction.

Formulating sentences right now is seemingly impossible. My brain is worn out; I'm done and I haven't even begun (wow, that rhymed)!
"Don't worry;" "It'll all work out;" "Don't lose faith." While supportive, these benign sentences have quickly lost their meaning. The cliches are binding and defining my existence at its current peak.

How does a twenty-something graduate make something of herself?

Staring blankly at the screen, I attempt to deconstruct the walls, pages, layers of this mess of a mind, I unfortunately have to claim as my own.
In a recent conversation I was told to forget the what ifs, though prior to said conversation I hadn't even given them consideration -- so, thanks!?  Raking through the missed opportunities, chances taken and decisions made, I really do wonder: what if? Be forewarned, as I have, that this is a lengthy and solitary path. What ifs should be avoided. Though, the only thought provoking probe that seeps into every fragment of my being is whether I am where I should be.

The complications, choices and what ifs have wholly shaped me. But I can't help wonder: am I on the right track?

While this mess of a mind is regularly unmanageable, I'm thankful to live in such an engaging personal bubble. The thoughts almost never stop; they are all consuming. If I could just create order out of chaos, perhaps, I'd be on my way to something right.



Yours,

(My) dishevelled thoughts.